


Aftermath

by FoxCollector



Series: That's Not An Actual Pick-Up Line [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Background HashiMito, Bake sale!, Gen, Hungry hungry Uchihas, M/M, MadaTobi - Freeform, Madara should terrify everyone, Madara terrifies Kagami, Madara's awful pick-up lines, Pre-Slash, They do need a warning, Withholding cookies, aggressive flirting, destined IzuTouka
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-12-14 19:15:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11789670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoxCollector/pseuds/FoxCollector
Summary: Madara’s glare intensified. “You look like trash, can I take you out?”“I…are you hitting on me, or threatening me?” Tobirama asked. He was legitimately unsure. Madara looked so angry, and yet…Or, Tobirama is just trying to man the bake-sale table, he wasn't really expecting to be subjected to any more awful pick-up lines.





	Aftermath

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, so I hadn't initially been planning to do a sequel to "Lone Digger" but I was hit by a sudden bout of inspiration, so here it is.
> 
> Title is taken from a Caravan Palace song of the same name. Because this mini-series is apparently associated with Caravan Palace?
> 
> At any rate, read, enjoy, review!

            Tobirama was honestly impressed by the turn out at the school fair. Granted, they were the largest school in the city and everyone knew about it, but it was still impressive. He liked to think it had more to do with the overall reputation of the school than anything else.

            He had started in the morning with Hiruzen and Danzo, who had come in to help set everything up and take the first shift with him. Despite having volunteered for the job, Hiruzen had still done some grumbling about having to do everything. Really though, he wasn’t the one who’d had to _get_ everything there.

            Although, their shift was almost over. They would get to trade off with Kagami and Torifu, and Tobirama would still be stuck there all day. Iruka was supposed to relieve him, but the poor man was laid out at home up to his ears in tissues. Tobirama didn’t blame him for taking the day, even if it meant more work for himself.

            He ended up sandwiched between Hiruzen and Danzo, manning their bake-sale table. He didn’t even have to do that much since both boys were so eager to prove that they were responsible that they jumped on every customer they could. It was almost a competition between them, and it was completely adorable.

            Except Hiruzen kept trying to eat the merchandise.

            Towards the middle of the day it had started to get a little busier. They still had their steady customers (Sakumo, who was supervising another stand, had come around three times or so for more brownies, which he insisted were for the kids, but Tobirama knew better), but more and more new people filtered through as the day went by.

            Hashirama came in just before noon, along with Mito and Touka. Tobirama would have told him to leave just for the fun of it, but he was fully aware of the fact that his brother had actually taken time off of work to come down. So it really would be cruel to send him away.

            Mito looked exhausted and Tobirama went around the side of the table to hug her when she reached out to him. He wasn’t sure if it was work or something else that had Mito looking so worn, but she would tell him if she felt like it, he wasn’t going to push the issue.

             Touka ruffled his hair as soon as Mito stepped back, delighting in the glare he sent her way.

            “Now, I believe you owe me a cookie,” Mito said, turning towards the table. “After all, it’s hardly fair that I come home to the smell of cookies and don’t get to have any. And after I let you use my kitchen too.”

            “Fair enough,” Tobirama said. He threw a dollar in the cash-box and gave Mito a cookie.

            Her smile was genuine, if a little weak and she wasted no time in devouring her cookie.

            Hashirama held out his hands expectantly.

            “Oh no.” Tobirama crossed his arms. “You’re paying for your own cookies.”

            “But,” Hashirama started, “but it’s my kitchen too!”

            Hiruzen snickered from behind the table.

            “You had cookies already. Now you have to pay,” Tobirama said.

            “And me, little cousin?” Touka asked. She was bent over the table, eying the confetti squares Kagami had roped his cousin Hikaku into making for him.

            “You should pay too,” he told her.

            Touka laughed. “That’s fair. I don’t want your cookies anyway!”

            She bought herself a confetti square, and left to finish making her way around the fair. She only had so much time before her lunch break was over.

            Hashirama bought himself a small mountain of sweets, and, with Mito on one arm, they also left to wander around the rest of the fair. Hashirama shoved a cookie in his mouth and waved at Hiruzen and then his brother as Mito pulled him away. What a dork.

            Tobirama really hoped Mito wasn’t overworking herself. At least a day off might help.

 

            Finally, when Danzo was just starting to get restless, Torifu showed up to relieve him. Kagami was nowhere to be seen, but there was no way he would miss the bake-sale when he’d been so excited about it. Once Hiruzen and Danzo had left (despite Hiruzen insisting he didn’t mind staying until Kagami showed up, Tobirama had told him to go and enjoy the rest of the fair), it was just Torifu and Tobirama.

            Torifu was happy enough to talk about the recipe his family had used for puffed wheat squares, and was clearly enjoying having his teacher’s attention all to himself.  And that was fine with Tobirama. Torifu’s giant smile was contagious.

            When Kagami finally arrived, more than a little late, it was, well, interesting. It really looked as though Kagami had pulled out all the stops and brought his entire family. Tobirama really wasn’t sure Izuna even had time to be there, but well, there he was. At least a horde of hungry Uchihas was good for business.

            “Sorry, Sensei, _someone_ was really slow,” Kagami shot a glare over his shoulder at either Madara or Shisui. “I’ll make them all buy something to make up for it.”

            And he did. Every last one of them. It was almost alarming.

            When Izuna grabbed one of the puffed wheat squares, a distracted look on his face, it gave Tobirama an idea.

            “Izuna,” Tobirama said. “Touka is here.”

            Izuna turned red, suddenly very focused. “Oh yeah?”

            “If you hurry, you might be able to catch her before she has to go back to work.” He passed Izuna a confetti square. “And you can give her this.”

            Izuna looked mortified, but he snatched the square out of Tobirama’s hand. “Thanks.”

            Izuna made a quick retreat, in the vague direction Tobirama pointed, and then there was only Madara.

            Madara, pointedly looking away, asked for two cookies, and shoved money at Kagami.

            “And here I thought you didn’t like my cookies,” Tobirama said.

            Madara scowled. “Just give me the damn cookies, Senju.”

            Kagami gasped. “Uncle!”

            “What? I can say what I want. Don’t learn from me.” Madara ruffled Kagami’s hair.

            “Oh, I won’t,” Kagami said. He turned up his nose, and turned away from Madara.

            Madara held out his hand towards Tobirama. “Cookies.”

            “Say please.” Tobirama’s lips curled up at the corners.

            Madara’s eyes narrowed. “You. I paid, you can’t withhold the cookies.”

            “I made them.” Tobirama waved a hand dismissively.

            “So?” Madara held his gaze, something challenging in his expression.

            “So.” Tobirama really intended to say more, but he completely forgot where he was going with his sentence. For a moment he couldn’t focus on anything beyond the heat in Madara’s eyes.

            “Come on.” Kagami scoffed. "They're just cookies."

            And the tension was broken.

            “Fine, fine. Please.” Madara rolled his eyes.

            Tobirama picked out two cookies (definitely not the largest he could find) with the flower-patterned tongs and set them in Madara’s hand.

            Madara took his cookies, and catching sight of Hashirama waving at him, promptly blanched and went in the opposite direction, leaving Hashirama to chase after him.

            Tobirama watched him go.

            “Sensei, are you blushing?” Torifu asked. He was staring up at Tobirama with wide eyes.

            Tobirama didn’t even know what to say. He put on his best stern-teacher face. “Of course not. That’s not important, anyway. Why don’t you count the money?”

            “Okay,” Torifu said. He gave Tobirama the side eye all the same.

            Kagami snickered.

            And Tobirama thought that that would be the end of it. Unfortunately, he was wrong.

 

            Maybe fifteen minutes or so later, Madara came storming back up. He slammed his hands down on the table, scaring both Kagami and Torifu, and fixed Tobirama with a withering glare. Tobirama tried not to let the shock show on his face, but wasn’t sure he was entirely successful.

            There may not have been any customers at his table at the moment, but the sudden noise made a few people glance over.

            Tobirama frowned up at him and opened his mouth to ask what exactly Madara thought he was doing, when Madara cut him off.

            “Are you a mirror? ‘Cause I can see myself inside you,” Madara growled. The words were slightly at odds with his murderous expression.

            Tobirama froze. He was fairly certain his ears were red. Had he heard that right? Was that maybe some kind of threat? Why else would Madara look like he wanted to gut him?

            He closed his mouth, and then opened it again. No sound came out.

            When he didn’t say anything, Madara’s mouth pulled into a frown. “Do you need a lawyer? Because I’d like to get you off.”

            “I…what?”

            That was one of those god-awful pick-up lines from yesterday. What? Was he serious? Was Madara hitting on him? Why did he look so angry? Was this his idea of being direct?

            He wasn’t sure he’d ever been so embarrassed or confused before, barring perhaps that cake incident at Mito’s party two years ago.

            Madara’s glare intensified. “You look like trash, can I take you out?”

            “I…are you hitting on me, or threatening me?” Tobirama asked. He was legitimately unsure. Madara looked so angry, and yet…maybe he had been applying his own logic to himself.

            Madara groaned in frustration and raked a hand through his wild hair. “Go out with me.”

            “Oh. _Oh_.” Tobirama was sure he was red in the face now. All these years and all he can say is ‘Oh’. He'd always imagined he would be wittier if Madara asked him out.

            Well, to be fair, he never would have anticipated this.

            “Oh is not an answer,” Madara said.

            “If I say yes will you stop causing a scene?” Tobirama glanced around at the few people watching with mild interest. He really hoped they hadn’t actually heard Madara.

            Madara also glanced around, and a few people turned away awkwardly. “Probably.”

            “Then yes. You can pick me up tomorrow at five. From the school. Be late and you won’t be seeing anything in me aside from a reflection of the door when I kick you out.” Tobirama crossed his arms. Not his finest work, but he was a bit under pressure. He hadn't been so mortified or giddy in a long time.

            “Great. Fine. I’ll be there. We can have Italian for dinner.” Madara’s body language was still aggressive.

            “Thai,” Tobirama said.

            “Thai, then. Whatever.” Madara crossed his own arms, and finally he looked more satisfied than angry.

            “Good,” Tobirama said.

            “Good.” Madara agreed. “I’ll see you then.” And he stalked off.

            Tobirama breathed a sigh of relief.

            “Sensei?” Kagami asked. He looked terrified.

            Oh dear.

            “I’m so sorry you had to see that,” Tobirama said, and he meant it.

            “Sensei, he called you trash, you can’t go out with him!” Torifu exclaimed. He threw a dollar in the cash-box and grabbed a brownie, holding it like it had all the answers.

            “That’s…Madara is…bad with words,” Tobirama said. He threw a dollar in the box and grabbed a muffin. Stress eating seemed like a logical conclusion. Besides, he could foresee a long run in his near future just to work everything out mentally.

            “He is!” Kagami agreed. “And he’s mean. And rude!” Then Kagami looked uneasy. “Are you sure he doesn’t want to…possess you or something?”

            Possess?

            At the look on his face, Kagami elaborated, “Obito said Madara’s a scary old Uchiha ghost, and I thought he was being mean, but maybe when he said he saw himself in you, he meant he was going to possess you. He was really scary.”

            “Kagami…” Tobirama said. Bless his innocent little mind. Sort of. Demonic possession wasn’t exactly an innocent thought.

            “I don’t think that’s what he meant,” Torifu said. He made a face.

            “I’m sure he meant it in a nice way,” Tobirama began.

            “He meant it in a bad way,” Kagami insisted. “And even though Izuna said that makes it okay, I don’t think it does. If you want to hide tomorrow, I can tell him you disappeared.”

            Tobirama sighed in exasperation. “I’m fine. It’s fine. Both of you, drop it.”

            “But – ”

            “No. Don’t even think about it. Just forget it.”

            Torifu grabbed a cookie and threw more money in the cash-box.

            “Don’t eat all the goods,” Kagami told him.

            “I’m a paying customer.” Torifu frowned around his cookie.

            Tobirama buried his face in his hands. It was going to be a long day.

            But hey, he had a date.

            With _Madara_.

            It shouldn’t make him so happy, but it did. At least no one could see his smile behind his hands.

**Author's Note:**

> Fun Food Fact, I googled pick-up lines for that awful mirror line, and the trash one. If it helps, you can imagine Madara also googled pick-up lines to try and help him out, but could only remember the worst possible lines when he opened his mouth. Seems like a Madara thing to do.


End file.
